Someone I knew committed suicide yesterday

Until recently I worked with a bright, energetic, ambitious and passionate man. After working for our company for several years he jumped ship to a new exciting opportunity.

Last night he walked in front of a train and killed himself, leaving an explanation note online.

This is not my normal subject matter but I have never had someone I knew personally commit suicide before.

I suffer from depression, and have been on anti-depressants.  Personally I think my brain is wired a little that way but it is aggravated by taking contraceptive hormones and I have been subjected to a great many over the years, to try and control my health problems in that area.

Given that, there have been some very dark times personally, and I will admit, there are times I have considered taking that last step just to make the pain go away.

It never got that far, because even in the dark places, there was still a place for hope, that the situation could improve, and there was still a light in the darkness.  Later when I was in a better life situation, there were friends who understood and offered support and understanding in whatever form it took.

But first I had to face the fact there was a problem and I still remember sitting down in the doctors office and actually say the words out loud  “I need help” and later share the news with my friends.  It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, and the main reason for me was that it felt like I was putting my burden on their shoulders too.

So while I understand the action that he took yesterday, I am so very sad that this bright young man with all the promise in the world felt so lost and abandoned that this was the only choice left to him.

I hope you finally found the peace you needed

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About lensaddiction

Mad keen photographer figuring it out as she goes!
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35 Responses to Someone I knew committed suicide yesterday

  1. My thoughts are with you on this one, I have unfortunately known & lost more family and friends to suicide, than cancer or car accidents, including an Uncle, Brother -in-law and a good friend I could not help, even though I tried. It is an emotional roller coaster, that seems never ending. It may sound harsh, but at least he tried to explain to the loved ones left behind, in my cases we never had anything and no idea of the devastation and loss we were about to find. I hope you can find some small solace in the thought that perhaps your friend did indeed find the release and peace he was after. Hugs

  2. desleyjane says:

    Oh hun, I’m so sorry to read this. What a shock. It’s so good that you shared this post, you have taken steps by asking for help and that is something that we could all learn from. Many of try to struggle through things on our own but in the end something has to give or we won’t make it. I thank you for sharing this post and I send you my hugs on this sad day.

  3. Leanne Cole says:

    It is very sad to read this Stacey, it is such a tough thing to go through, especially when you know the person. Take care.

  4. Bastet says:

    I’m so very sad for you and your friend .. a difficult moment for sure. depression is such a terrible weight to carry .. thanks for sharing this … and as Leanne has said, take care of yourself.

  5. Cee Neuner says:

    I think and hope he has found the peace that he needs. Take care of yourself the next few days and weeks. You will feel the impact of his loss at different times. Thanks for sharing. I’m glad he is finally getting the peace he needs and searched for.

  6. Nic says:

    I am sorry for your loss and take care of yourself.

  7. leecleland says:

    My thoughts are for you Stacey and how hard this must be for you. Life is short enough so be kind to yourself.

  8. mmjustus says:

    I am so sorry for your loss.

  9. Oh, Stacey, there really are no words. The despair of depression is so unbelievably debilitating (I had a bout with it a number of decades ago). I’m just so sad to hear your friend could find no other way out. As for you, I’m glad you recognized the need to reach out for help and are getting it. Keep taking care of yourself, my friend. ❤

  10. I’m sorry to hear about your personal struggle and about your friend. Take care.

  11. Very sad. Depression is a thing you are not supposed to play with. Good to know there is help when needed. As you explained as soon as you(or I) can say and admit there is a problem it is halfway won.

  12. Robyn G says:

    Stacey so sorry to hear about this young man. A tragedy that he felt that was his only choice 😦
    Thank you for sharing some of your story too – I think many of us understand the battle of depression and I think you’re awesome for sharing… because I know you will have helped somebody by writing this. Hugs!! xx

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