The Art of Depression

So my post on mental health got quite a lot of response, and several new followers – its surprising for me to realise that it was written a couple of months ago.  Thanks for all the comments and welcome to all the new people, apologies that it has been a bit quiet, but given the subject matter that bought you here, I’m sure you understand 🙂

Things have been rough the past couple of months, some challenges in my personal life got into my head and messed it up a fair amount and a lot of energy has gone into dealing with that.

Its hard when you are going through something personal and you want to talk about it, but you *really* don’t want to share the inside of your head with someone else, because its not a fun place to be in some days. I don’t want to paint the people I care about in the same sticky black tar I’m covered in.

Luckily I have some good friends who understand, give good advice and loan me books on anxiety 🙂

Things are better now, the brain hamsters are less active at 3am though I have been having some *very* vivid and odd dreams, more so than usual.  Still have to pull myself out of the “scenario” mindset for the stressful potential situations.

Oddly now I am aware of that particular brain quirk, I have been able to use it to advantage.  One of the other major things taking up my time and energy is I’m on the organising committee for a large conference which is being held in 10 days – and shit has got very real in the last couple of weeks.

Most of my spare time is going into sorting that out, but one thing I have been doing is brainstorming potential risk scenarios, plotting out logistics and planning everything needing to be done.

Its been really useful to do all this, made it less stressful for me, because I know that I have planned as much in advance as possible, and am (hopefully) prepared.  This also helps my team and the rest of the committee.

Strangely my biggest contribution to the planning has actually been the use of my creative skillset – I have designed the inside and outside of a menu in 1940s theme, come up with the 1940s concept for the Awards Dinner and tied it to the wider conference theme, been involved with the organisation of the entertainment, designed four different  themed table decorations and for the last week, I have been crafting them.

I also conceptualised a Codebreaking Icebreaker themed around the Enigma Machine, with help from a friend and his 3D printer, have designed and crafted three code breaking units.

As well I have been the Social Media Fairy and designed some marketing materials for online use.

Have spent hours in Photoshop, worked with the Conference design team, and spent hours crafting up hand made 1940s themed elements.

So while there isn’t anything particularly splendid to share with you here, lots has been happening, much has been created and made and forward momentum has been maintained.

Life begins again on 23rd September, after the Conference finishes.  In the background is a pile of props, ideas and concepts for my new project, just waiting for the time and the energy to be pointed in their direction.

There have been some very bad days, and a lot of pretty average days, some good days.  There have been tears, laughter, hugs, cocktails, impulse online shopping, snuggles with cats, candle lit soaks in the bath, running up and down flights of stairs while cursing my personal trainer and a concious effort to stay afloat, one way or another.

 

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